In the Palace
Once, while flipping channels, I stopped on a documentary about Buckingham Palace. The Queen of England was hosting a state dinner, and her small army of workers were setting the table. It was an incredibly elaborate process. In addition to the many pieces of silverware there were also elegant goblets flanking each side of the various plates. But what really amazed me was when one of the workers pulled out a ruler to measure the distance between a wine glass and a floral arrangement. The level of precision was that exact — beyond anything I’d previously imagined.
Now picture yourself as a guest at that dinner.
An appetizer skillfully carved into the shape of a swan is placed before you.
You taste it, and…
You don’t like it.
And you say, “I am not enjoying the food, therefore I deny the existence of the Queen.”
Does that make any sense?
So it is in life.
So many people taste life with all of its hardships, and they react by denying the existence
But if you delve more deeply, with patience and love, often a different truth comes out.
The belief is there.
It’s just covered over by hurt, anger, frustration and disappointment.
Our hearts assure us that of course there is a G-d.
But our minds can’t reconcile that with all the brokenness we see in the world.
And so, we conclude that Gd can’t exist.
In other words, suffering creates confusion, and the victim is belief.
But do you know what’s so beautiful about this type of disbelief?
I think on the deepest level, it’s coming from a place of love, and an intuitive understanding of Gd’s goodness.
We don’t know how to explain the suffering, so to prevent ourselves from concluding that Gd is bad, or means us harm, we simply say there is no Gd, in order to protect ourselves from thinking badly about Gd.
But the truth is, on a soul level, even amidst the denial,
We never left Gd’s side even for a moment.